The Low Down on Tea with the Queen

Not that I am precious about these things, but I did expect at least to say hello to the Queen in person. I didn't expect a one-to-one audience, but perhaps about two or three hundred people. Alas, to put my ego in its place, we turned up to discover about three thousand people invited over to Buck Palace for cucumber sandwiches. Not the kind of thing an eminent blogger would expect.

Having been brought up with good-old-fashioned host etiquette, I was at the very least expecting to be greeted in however cursory a manner by Her Majesty the Hostess, but us plebs were only permitted a long distance view, and then she was cordoned off from the Great Unwashed unless by special invitation. Most disappointing and ungratifying.

The sandwiches were good, but all the smoked salmon nibbles went and we were left with the ham sandwiches, not so perfect for the observant Muslims. There were a few good little sweets though. Let them eat cake!

The gardens were extremely picturesque, with a small lake at the far end, backing onto the road, which could be heard noisily over the wall. I'm sure that doesn't do anything to keep the property price up.

Having got right royally dressed up (pardon the pun), we had hoped we would meet various interesting and important poeple. Most guests seemed intent on keeping to themselves and mingling and networking were most definitely not on the cards. Having strolled through the gardens, eaten the provisions and got huffed up about not being able to see let alone meet the Queen, we left an hour early, bored and disappointed. As a guest it feels ungrateful to say that, when dear Lizzie has gone to so much trouble and expense to host us. I wonder if it will show up on my tax bill?

Anyhow, although th invitation had mentioned no photos (and no, I won't be paying £16 for the commemorative DVD), I manage to sneak a few. Here's one, I do hope I don't get arrested...