Muslim men, this one's for you...
This article has just been published in EMEL Magazine.
Muslim women are changing the world. Fed up with voices on all sides telling us how we should dress, what is 'right' for Muslim women, and how we should be defending Islam or in other cases dismantling it, Muslim women are getting themselves together and initiating change. But what does this mean if you are a Muslim man?
I should make two statements here: first, that I am an advocate for Muslim women and the changes that they want to make to traditional structures within Muslim communities, from within the faith. I believe Islam has a blueprint that offers liberation for both genders. Second, whilst there are some great changes afoot, an unspeakably huge amount still needs to be done in order to redress the oppression that Muslim women face from all sides.
With this in mind, I ask again, what if you are a Muslim man? It is a challenge being a Muslim woman, but I imagine that it is also a challenge being a Muslim man. There are plenty of books, talks and articles produced about "Women and Islam" but what about "Men and Islam." It even sounds strange, doesn't it?
Muslim women are constantly torn between the competing tensions of faith and multiple cultures. Men must be as well. For example, there is much talk about the difficulty that Muslim women face in finding marriage partners. Muslim men, what are your thoughts on this experience?
What notion of fatherhood can a Muslim man shape when battling traditional external notions that it is a 'woman's job', a concept that exists in both western and eastern cultures?
When it comes to ideas about modesty and Muslim dress, what thought processes and support do Muslim men have in determining what they wear and whether this conforms to any standard of modest dress? And when it comes to the traditional notion that the hijab is there to save men from their uncontrollable cave-man sexual urges, do you have any opinions or more to the point, do you take offence at this? I think you should, and I have argued previously that hijab should not be explained in terms of denigrating men as licentious monsters.
When it comes to identity and stereotyping, Muslim men are typecast as today's 'angry young men', with a beard and rucksack as labels for 'terrorist'. What are the challenges that Muslim men are facing? What support do you want to address these?
If we want to create a change for women, then men need to be engaged. It's the right thing to do, and it is the inevitable thing. It's right because if Muslim men truly believe that Islam liberates women, and that it is built on the foundation of both genders being 'created from one soul', then they will - they must - stand in support of the changes women are advocating. More significantly, it is inevitable because any change that affects Muslim women must by definition affect Muslim men because the two occupy interconnected spheres of influence. Put another way, if men proactively make changes in conjunction with women, then problems affecting both genders will be solved much more quickly and effectively.
This is not about detracting from women, or diminishing their cause, nor is it about re-instating men as more important, or going back to patriarchy. It is about helping women, and helping the balance of our society as a whole.
Actually, this still sounds very Muslim-woman-centric, and there is a reason for framing my outreach to Muslim men in this way. I don’t want Muslim men's needs to be hijacked by the same unyielding voices of traditional patriarchy that drown out Muslim women's voices by telling them that they know better than Muslim women what it is exactly that Muslim women need.
By framing up our need to hear men's voices from within the paradigm of the changes Muslim women are creating, I’m hoping to give space and freedom to Muslim men to be honest about the challenges they face. Young men can suffer at the hands of tradition, culture and patriarchy too, their needs being overlooked, unheard or dismissed as rebellious immature youth.
All of us need to make space for men to speak up about their concerns. There are two critical components of this space: that men can speak honestly about their issues; and also, that men and women can talk to each other, openly, sincerely and productively.
Muslim men, we need to hear from you.
Muslim women are changing the world. Fed up with voices on all sides telling us how we should dress, what is 'right' for Muslim women, and how we should be defending Islam or in other cases dismantling it, Muslim women are getting themselves together and initiating change. But what does this mean if you are a Muslim man?
I should make two statements here: first, that I am an advocate for Muslim women and the changes that they want to make to traditional structures within Muslim communities, from within the faith. I believe Islam has a blueprint that offers liberation for both genders. Second, whilst there are some great changes afoot, an unspeakably huge amount still needs to be done in order to redress the oppression that Muslim women face from all sides.
With this in mind, I ask again, what if you are a Muslim man? It is a challenge being a Muslim woman, but I imagine that it is also a challenge being a Muslim man. There are plenty of books, talks and articles produced about "Women and Islam" but what about "Men and Islam." It even sounds strange, doesn't it?
Muslim women are constantly torn between the competing tensions of faith and multiple cultures. Men must be as well. For example, there is much talk about the difficulty that Muslim women face in finding marriage partners. Muslim men, what are your thoughts on this experience?
What notion of fatherhood can a Muslim man shape when battling traditional external notions that it is a 'woman's job', a concept that exists in both western and eastern cultures?
When it comes to ideas about modesty and Muslim dress, what thought processes and support do Muslim men have in determining what they wear and whether this conforms to any standard of modest dress? And when it comes to the traditional notion that the hijab is there to save men from their uncontrollable cave-man sexual urges, do you have any opinions or more to the point, do you take offence at this? I think you should, and I have argued previously that hijab should not be explained in terms of denigrating men as licentious monsters.
When it comes to identity and stereotyping, Muslim men are typecast as today's 'angry young men', with a beard and rucksack as labels for 'terrorist'. What are the challenges that Muslim men are facing? What support do you want to address these?
If we want to create a change for women, then men need to be engaged. It's the right thing to do, and it is the inevitable thing. It's right because if Muslim men truly believe that Islam liberates women, and that it is built on the foundation of both genders being 'created from one soul', then they will - they must - stand in support of the changes women are advocating. More significantly, it is inevitable because any change that affects Muslim women must by definition affect Muslim men because the two occupy interconnected spheres of influence. Put another way, if men proactively make changes in conjunction with women, then problems affecting both genders will be solved much more quickly and effectively.
This is not about detracting from women, or diminishing their cause, nor is it about re-instating men as more important, or going back to patriarchy. It is about helping women, and helping the balance of our society as a whole.
Actually, this still sounds very Muslim-woman-centric, and there is a reason for framing my outreach to Muslim men in this way. I don’t want Muslim men's needs to be hijacked by the same unyielding voices of traditional patriarchy that drown out Muslim women's voices by telling them that they know better than Muslim women what it is exactly that Muslim women need.
By framing up our need to hear men's voices from within the paradigm of the changes Muslim women are creating, I’m hoping to give space and freedom to Muslim men to be honest about the challenges they face. Young men can suffer at the hands of tradition, culture and patriarchy too, their needs being overlooked, unheard or dismissed as rebellious immature youth.
All of us need to make space for men to speak up about their concerns. There are two critical components of this space: that men can speak honestly about their issues; and also, that men and women can talk to each other, openly, sincerely and productively.
Muslim men, we need to hear from you.
posted by Shelina Zahra Janmohamed at 14:42
6 Comments:
Salaam 'alaikum,
I think you may have brought a women's perspective to what you think are "Muslim men's issues". And you may have missed the mark.
To address your points in the order you raised them:
-I don't find anything particularly challenging about being a Muslim man. There aer, of course, challenges in life, but none that I can connect exclusively to my combined gender and religion.
-As far as difficulties in finding a marriage partner, I found it pretty simple. I gave myself a very small number of pre-reqs (all of them about religiousness) and made my intention to marry for Allah. Once I began looking, it was very quick and easy. Perhaps people are too picky (about race, ethnicity, education, money, social status, etc).
-I don't know what you mean by fatherhood and the notion of it being a woman's job. Unless you mean that most of the education and rearing of young children is entrusted to the mother, in which case that is a notion I have no problem with.
-Modest dress. Much easier for us than for the sisters. Simply wear loose clothing, making sure especially to cover the major awra and to be neat in our appearance. A beard and a hat are fairly easy to pull off in almost any environment.
-Hijab because men are "licentious monsters". Well it would be nice if this weren't the case, but most modern men are at the very least "girl-watchers". We can argue about how things should be, but the fact is that this is how they are.
-Muslim man = terrorist. I don't find that any external support is required here in the U.S. The anti-discrimination laws deal with the wrost offenders and the more subtle ones are either won over with good adab or a lost cause. Either way, no big deal. I don't need everyone to like me and those who dislike or fear me because of my religion are misguided and not someone to worry about.
-As for the rest of the post, you've used a lot of loaded terms which require some definition before they can be intelligently addressed. For instance what "change" are you referring to? How are defining "challenge"? What do you mean by "tradition" and "patriarchy" and what about them do you find contrary to Islam?
I hope my comments have been helpful.
wasalaam 'alaikum
Perhaps the focus should be on the young Muslim male.
The repressive traditional patriarchy and all the tenets and ideas espoused through it, pull the (young) Muslim male in one direction. In the other direction, a strong pull is exerted by the more rational, appealing and romantic portrayals of religion and life.
This perhaps, leads to one of the most depressing dilemmas the Muslim man faces:
Should he succumb to the wisdom of the so-called traditionalists and ensure that the status-quo remains unchanged with Muslim women remaining silent observers on the sidelines? Or should he adopt the stance that ensures that women are treated with the respect that must be afforded to them, integrated at every level of life and decision making, from the family to the community level.
The challenge arises in ensuring that the rights of the female are upheld, without offending the camp consisting of the "traditional patriarchy". While it is undeniable that the Muslim female must have full access to the rights that she has been traditionally marginalized from, it is the duty of the Muslim male to carry out this fine balancing act, trying to ensure that harmony reigns supreme.
The transformation of the Muslim society cannot be attained through a coup d'etat against the traditional patriarchy, but rather must be inculcated and imbibed through educational and rational discourse.
The challenge, to those Muslim men who have accepted that Muslim women and Muslim women stand on equal footing, is to transform the society without stepping on the toes of those who adopt different ideas, and to strive towards a state of congruence without compromising on ideals.
Dearest Shelina,
Thanks for the opportunity but I'll pass thanks :) I'll bask in my insecurity and inferiority complex for now and save my thoughts for someone who will get it.
Ilyas, I'd buy you a beer if that was permissible. We can settle for a kebab I guess.
It's true that Muslim men need to change in many respects. But that shouldn't mean changing the religion.
Also, keep in mind that different Islamic cultures view their gender roles differently.
Most of the Muslims who are can go online to see this post are probably live in affluent Western nations, or are amongst the well-to-do or wealthy in a Muslim nation.
However, this group of Muslims represents a very small portion of the entire Muslim world. And in fact, those very same Muslims are often minorities in their own society.
I think it's just too big of a pot too hold and the Ummah is way too diverse.
When I read your article where you truly advocate for the better position of muslim woman, you did a marvelous thing. Instead of diminishing men, what some do, you invited muslim men to participate with our sisters to change our position. Islam is a religion without time! Any many things that oppress woman, degrades woman are things that I believe that come from our culture traditions. Islam liberates woman, in every aspect. But it is the culture and nowadays the society that tries to tell muslims how to be muslim and taking their freedom of choice!
By the way, a nice refreshing article
Qur'an is a dessert tribe's society. It prescribes jihad vs. infidels, and so young men die. Survivors can marry three wives because the men have died.
Allah created mankind because He wanted to share His goodness.. If His creatures love themselves instead of loving Allah, Allah first works to increase their understanding. If they fail to learn, He simply lets them go their way. He does not kill them, punish them, curse them. Hell-fire is just the eternal pain of being separated from Allah's love.
Satan refused to obey Allah's command to honor Jesus as 'King of Heaven and Earth'. Jesus was a human, inherently inferior in nature to any angel. Satan claimed that Kingship for himself, and God threw Satan out of Heaven. The only way Satan can hurt Allah is to deny Him what He loves: human souls.
So Satan pretended to be Allah, telling the Prophet (pbuh) truth about the glory and power of Allah, but totally denying the Kingship of Jesus. Allah said, "Honor Jesus as your King if you want to live with Us in Our Kingdom." His Kingdom of Love helps people to grow in love for Allah and for one another.
'Techie Worlds: Visible & Invisible' explains how Allah arranged the worlds so He does not overwhelm us during our lives on Earth. It explains the truth of immortal soul, of creation, of redemption and Paradise. Available from Amazon.com, it tells of Allah's love for us in understandable, simple, logical language. Read 'Techie Worlds' to see clearly the truth of Allah's wondrous love for mankind..
GeorgeRic
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